Lethal Haircut
by TankStoner
Summary: One-shot. Martin's getting the haircut we see in LW 4. This story also deals with helping Rianne get over her crush on Martin. LW's 1 & 2 are referenced as well. Leo is in this as well. Very strong language so discretion is well-advised


The following takes place between Lethal Weapon 3 and 4.

Summer 1994- Los Angeles

'No, I won't do it!!!!!' shrieked Riggs 'I'd rather exhume Aryan Crudd or Jackoff Travelodge and face them again than do this.I'll lose my edge.'

'Riggs, if you don't do it you'll stand to lose me' retorted Lorna 'And besides, I saw the picture of you and Vicky together. I think you look just as great without it. You'll have to get it done sometime, we've been together for over 2 years and I think it's time you got a haircut.'

'Ok Lorna, point taken.' Riggs stated and went on '2 years deserves at least this and I have a feeling that we're gonna be with each other a lot longer. But before you get out those hedgeclippers...."

'....Oh Riggs, they're not hedgeclippers and I already told you this isn't gonna hurt.' said Lorna impatiently 'I also told you that I think you look nicer with short hair.'

'Lorna, can I have 3 days to think about this?' asked Riggs 'There's more to this than routine simplicity and I think you know that too.'

'I'll do you one better Riggs' Lorna said as she took in his meaning 'I'll give you 5 days and if you still can't decide then you'll have a bigger concern. Seeing Dr. Woods'

"Oh, fuck!!! Not Mrs. Sigmund Fraud!!!' exclaimed Riggs 'A session with her is like hearing one of Leo's long-winded 'They Fuck You.....' rants in their entirety. Both of which I avoid like the plague."

'You mean Leo has done a 'They Fuck You...' rant before the one he did at the station about hospitals when he was shot by Travis?' Lorna asked, surprised.

'Honey, do you remember the day we met in the elevator and I was chiding Rog about going to Portugal with laundered drug-money?' Riggs asked

'How can I forget?' Lorna asked

'Well'....Riggs continued '......The laundered drug money was in reference to the case which Rog and I first met Leo. Leo was a whiz accountant, unscrupulous maybe, but nonetheless a whiz accountant working privately with a drug-running faction of the South African Consulate based here in L.A. They found out he was skimming and put a price on his head which prompted him to turn State's Witness. Murph had sent me and Rog to babysit Leo for a few days until the Feds would take custody. On the third day Rog, myself and Leo got hungry and stopped at a Subway. Leo ordered a something or other but ended up getting a tuna which started him going into a 'They Fuck You At The Drive-Thru' rant. It took a lot on both Rog's and my part not to kill him ourselves.' Riggs smiled but the smile soon turned to a look of sadness.

'What's wrong, honey?' Lorna asked. Tears started welling in Riggs' eyes but he went on.

'It was during that case that I found out what actually happened to Vicky and I don't want to upset you but something else happened during the case.'

'Start with the "something else".' prompted Lorna.

'I had a romantic fling with Rudd's secretary, Rika. We were making out in my trailer when we were attacked by 2 helicopters used by Rudd's goons. Rika and I got away safely but we weren't so lucky when I took Rika back to her flat. Rudd's right-hand man and more goons were laying in wait at Rika's flat. One of them slugged the back of my head as I was getting into my truck. When I came to I found myself at a pier in a makeshift straight-jacket. Rudd's right-hand man Foreschtedt, I called him Adolf because he looked like Adolf Hitler but without that silly little moustache, admitted to me that he was the one who killed Vicky in what was thought to be a run-of-the-mill car accident. I was his intended target as he put a contract out on me when I was working Narco at Long Beach. After Rog and I had killed off Rudd and his goons, it was discovered that Rudd was in league with General Roland MacAllister who, with his own mercenaries, was bringing in heroin from Southeast Asia every year since the end of the Vietnam War. With MacAllister it was a personal thing for Rog. Oh fuck, look at the time, Rog is coming to pick me up for another fun day of busting bad guys. I will utilise the 5 days you have given me to think about the haircut See ya later, hon.' As if on cue, Roger Murtaugh is parked outside beeping the horn. Riggs runs to the car and sees the standard 'miffed-duck' look on Rog's face.

'Shit Riggs what were you and Lorna doing in there, making a new civilisation?' Rog asked.

'You'd be the one to know, Rog.' Riggs shot back

'Go spit. If we're late again Murph'll bust us down to uniformed patrolmen again' Rog said with bitter disgust

'Yeah, for only the 7th time this month and I'll have to put my hair in a fucking ponytail again.' Riggs said in equal disgust adding 'Then again in the next 5 days if I make the right decision, I won't have to worry about ponytails even if we are put back into uniform'

'Why's that?' Rog asked and took a drink of his cappucino

'Because Lorna is pressuring me into getting a haircut' Riggs deadpanned

Rog almost chokes on his cappucino laughing adding in mock seriousness 'Shit Riggs, don't ever make me laugh while I'm drinking something.' Riggs just sat there with a very serious look on his face to which Rog asks with concern 'So what's the problem, Riggs? You don't need the long hair. You're with Lorna now. Fuck, you didn't even need it when we first became partners. When you get your haircut, I'm gonna make it an absolute point to be there' _'Hell, I will also make it a point for my oldest daughter Rianne to be there too. Maybe this will put an abrupt end to the schoolgirl crush she's had on Riggs from the day I brought him home to meet the family This can also be my revenge on Riggs for the time I asked him to keep the fact that I had a bomb under my toilet quiet but he ended up having everybody but the Glee Club from the L.A. Unified School District converge on my house. Why could'nt Rudd's goons have put the bomb in Trish's stove instead of under my toilet, I still wonder about that. Yes,Riggs this'll be sweet revenge. hehehe" _

Riggs just rolls his eyes upward and continues 'This is what it is, Rog. When I grew my hair long, I developed a sense of emotional invincibility as if just about nothing could touch me. Yes, I have Lorna and she has me. I have a bit of a dilemma. leave my hair the way it is and I could lose Lorna. Cut my hair and the memories of Vicky reappear, the last thing i want for Lorna is for her to compete with my past just like Lorna doesn't want me competing with her past. Before Lorna and I got serious, she showed me a picture of her and her fiance at the time. Unlike with me and Vicky, Barney ran out on her as it was too much for him to compete with her job. She came home one evening expecting him to be there, instead she found a dark house, all of his things gone and a 'Dear Jane' note that read "Lorna, I'm very sorry but I tried to find a way to compete with your job in Internal Affairs. From what I've seen and experienced in my time with you that you'd have 'the time of your life' at work but when you'd come home all I got from you was ' leave me alone, I'm tired, hungry and in dire need of a bubble bath' and I just couldn't go on wasting my time and my life fighting a losing battle pretending to win. I can pretend no longer so don't bother to call or meet me. Try to have a happy life and I will do the same." She cried for days but eventually she got over it with the same built-in apathy that has helped her bring the dirtiest of cops to the shower of justice.' As Riggs finished his conversation he and Rog had pulled into the station car park where Murph was waiting for them with a scowl that could shatter a bulletproof window, and this time they were early.

'RIGGS, MURTAUGH!!!!! IT'S THAT FUCKING FRIEND OF YOURS LEO GETZ AGAIN!!!!!'

'Whoa there, Captain' Murtaugh spoke up 'Leo is not our friend'.

'What did the best argument for Preparation H do now?' Riggs piped up.

'His newest venture is being a hair stylist and he gave my wife's hair a cut similar to what Proctor gave Mauser in Police Academy 2, that's what the fuck he did.'

'I'm too old for this shit.' Riggs and Murtaugh said in unison which earned them a sharp glance from Murph.

'Ok what do you want us to do with Leo, Captain?' Rog asked

'Take him to Disneyland, throw him off the roller coaster, I don't know and I don't give a fuck. That's why I don't have ulcers around here at least because I know when to say "I don't give a fuck". At home and until my wife's hair gets back to normal I'll be downing Maalox by the gallons' Murph said derisively.

'Hey Captain, maybe you can take him to Disneyland and have him give Donald Duck a nice, meaning reacharound.' Riggs joked, which gets Rog laughing too.

'Riggs, if you and Murtaugh here are late again, maybe your next patrol assignment will be a nice foot beat up and down the Miracle Mile. NOW GO FIND THAT LITTLE BASTARD!!!!!' Murph ordered and with that stormed back into the building slamming the door behind him.

'I'm surprised you didn't tell the Captain about Lorna pressuring you into getting a haircut, Riggs' Rog chided

'I would but with the mood that he's been in as of late, it would be better told when the time comes and besides I think he'd take a heart attack if he saw me come in with short hair' Riggs said as he peered out the window of LAPD Detective unit 3-William-56

'So if and when you get your haircut, who's gonna do it?' Rog asked

'Lorna will be doing it. I certainly won't let fucking Leo come anywhere near me after what he did with Murph's wife's hair.' Riggs said half-disgusted and then asked 'I wonder what he calls his place, Rog?'

'Murph has it written down here, it's called the "Getz It Right Unisex Salon" ' Rog said. After a few minutes they find the place and sure enough Leo is outside arguing with a fat lady whose hair all ratty and patchy

'You messed up my hair, you little runt!!!!!!' the lady sceamed at Leo

'And you fucked up my doorway, you fat fucking warthog!!!!! You don't need a fucking hairstylist, what you need is fucking Weight Watchers!!!!! Leo screamed back prompting the lady to wail at him with her Gucci bag and fortunately for Leo, she's a lousy shot as he has surprisingly quick reflexes. Riggs and Murtaugh quickly seperate the two. Riggs had the misfortune of restraining the lady who had grown tired from orchestrating Hurricane Gucci

'Leo, get back in your shop!!!!' Rog ordered

'She didn't pay!!!!' Leo whined

'After the botch job you did on her hair, you should be the one to pay her!!!!' Riggs yelled and Rog starts laughing

'Now I can't face my bridge club!!!!' the lady sobbed

'By the look of you, you probably ate your fucking bridge club and had the fucking Goodyear Blimp for dessert!!!!!' Leo shot back

'You've not seen the last of me, you chihuahua-faced little runt!!!" the lady told him and then stormed off

'Leo, we really need to talk about your "business venture" or more to the point about shutting it down before you piss off all of Southern California. You were great at being at accountant until you got caught skimming and you were great at real estate until you bent the rules too far but as a hair stylist you totally suck at it. The blimp that just stormed off wasn't the first client you botched up but she'll be the last one. The 'Getz It Right Unisex Salon' is now shut down.' Riggs said

'Ok, ok, ok, ok. The salon is shut down. I'll come with you guys." Leo said 'I'm glad it's come to this because they fuck you.........."

'LEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Riggs and Murtaugh shouted in unison

A few hours after they get the walking assboil out of their midst, Riggs talks about his dilemma with Rog.

'Rog, I love Lorna but if I get my hair cut then every time I look in the mirror I'll be looking into my past with Vicky and I want to put them both as far behind me as I can. I have to move on. I don't want to relive the pain again. Christ knows that you have helped me to live again in a social way but Lorna helps me to live again in a spiritual and, yes, an intimate way. I keep going to Vicky's grave time and time again for some kind of sign or acknowledgment that she's cool with me and Lorna but time and time again I get no response at all.' Riggs explained

'Hey Riggs, you're forgetting the 'til death do you part' clause in the wedding vow. I'm not gonna patronise you and say that I understand your pain but there's something you must know and this is about Rianne.' Rog stated matter-of-factly

'What does Rianne have to do with this?' Riggs asked

Rog went on to explain 'Plenty. When I first brought you home to meet my family she developed quite an infatuation with you and when you rescued her, as well as yourself and me, from MacAllister and his goons the infatuation grew twentyfold. She confided in Trish that she wished that she was older so that you and her could get married. She was hoping that you would wait for her until she came of age. The irony being is that she came of age right when you met Lorna. We tried to keep your relationship with Lorna from Rianne for as long as we could but when she eventually found out she was so devestated that she cried for days.'

Riggs now felt a little worse 'I knew about her feelings for me but I never imagined they were as strong as that. When this haircut does happen, maybe you should bring here over, kinda like a visual therapy'

'Speaking of therapy, Riggs and I know you probably tell me to "go spit", but have you considered going to see Dr. Woods? Rog asked

'You called it Rog, go spit.' Riggs said jokingly and continued 'Actually, Lorna brought her up as a last resort if I can't make a decision about the haircut which tells me the Lorna is very serious. She said that me cutting my hair would tell her that I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with her. Getting back to Rianne, before she found out that Lorna and I were dating, what did you tell her and how did she find out?' Rog's attempt at changing the subject from Rianne to Dr. Woods had failed miserably.

Rog let out a sigh and explained 'Lorna suggested.......'

"Oh fuck, when did you see Lorna ?' Riggs asked, very annoyed

'Lorna came over the house one night when you did you last disappearing act a few months ago after the Rathskellar case. She was looking for you all over and thought you were at our house. Rianne also happened to be visiting. As Lorna was telling us you disappeared, Rianne was 'ultraconcerned' and it wasn't lost on Lorna. She asked Rianne about it and Rianne told her that she was infatuated with you. She also asked me what Lorna was to you. The next day at the station Lorna asked me to meet her in her office and she suggested that we play it to Rianne as you and Lorna are off/on partners working on unsolved cases. Lorna understood all to well the fragility of the young female infatuated mind. That worked for awhile until the night Rianne had been to your trailer. She peeked in your window and saw you and Lorna making out on the couch. Let's just say that for the sake of ending the subject of Rianne that words can't begin to describe the devestation Rianne had felt when she saw you and Lorna on the couch making out. I told Lorna about it. Lorna, Trish and I even tried talking to her but to no avail.'

'What if I talked to her?' Riggs suggested

Rog shook his head 'Under the circumstances, that's not be a good idea at this time. For one thing, you weren't supposed to know about this until the time was right. For another thing, if she wouldn't talk to us, she most certainly won't talk to you. I'm sure after a while she'll come around.'

'And if she doesn't, Rog?' Riggs asked

'I just don't know, Riggs, I just don't know. I AM getting too old for this shit.' Rog said dejectedly

'You and me both, Rog, you and me both' Riggs said and then asked 'Whatever happened to George?'

'George who?' Rog asked

'The guy Rianne was dating and did the condom advert with while we were chasing Aryan Crudd and his so-called Master Race.' Riggs said with a smile

'Oh shit, Riggs did you have to bring that up?' Rog asked adding 'You caused me so much grief with that and the condom tree you guys put on my desk at the station damn near got me into trouble with Murph not to mention the "makes me wanna go out and buy a rubber" crack from not only the contractor who was doing the addition to my house but from fucking Leo as well.'

'Whoa, you mean Leo saw that advert too?' Riggs asked with interest piqued

'Yeah he fucking saw it, while I was babysitting him in that hotel room while you were doing whatever it was you were doing with Rika' Rog said in a very agitated tone.

'That's right about when you figured out that the Alba Varden was a cargo ship and not a lady." Riggs stated

'Riggs, I'd give you a cigar but I'm not gonna encourage you to go back to smoking only to have you start eating dog biscuits again.' Rog deadpanned

'Woof Woof!!!' Riggs joked.

'You really are a smart ass, Riggs' Rog said in digust while thinking _'I hope he doesn't go home and tell Lorna of our discussion about Rianne. I only brought Rianne up to make his decision a bit easier. God help me if I did any damage not only to his relationship with Lorna but to our friendship as well. They seem to be very happy together and with her in his life I don't have to worry as much as I used to about him doing anything crazy. Aside from the Rathskellar case where he disappeared, he's been relatively calm. And then there's Rianne, she's my first-born. She was the little girl other fathers could only dream of having and I don't want to see her hurt which is why I'm against her dating or marrying cops. I know that Riggs didn't count on Rianne to develop an infatuation towards him. Hell, I didn't count on it either. I know that by the look Riggs has on his face right now that on this night, Lorna and him are going to have a great deal to talk about. Again, God help me and make Lorna and Riggs' relationship a strong one. Rianne has had boyfriends during her thing for Riggs or were those boyfriends just temporary fixes just for everybody's benefit._

A few hours later Riggs was back at home with Lorna and there was some tension brewing. The joking mood Riggs was in had long gone and now it was time to be confrontative

'How was work today, Riggs?' Lorna asked as she tried to kiss him but he pulled away

'Same shit. Bad guys, Murph, Leo. Can't believe that fucking guy thought he could style hair. Murph's wife and a fat lady were his only 2 victims, erm, clients before we made him shut down as requested by Murph. If there was ever one guy that could piss off all of Southern California, it would be that fucking idiot Leo Getz.' Riggs said very derisively

'Is there anything I can make you in the line of dinner?' Lorna asked trying to snuggle up to him, again he pulls away and keeps his distance from her.

'Nothing I can't make for myself!!!!' Riggs snapped

'What is wrong with you tonight, Riggs? You're very evasive and upset. Out with it!!!!!' Lorna snapped back

'Why didn't you tell me that you knew about Rianne's infatuation with me?' Riggs asked?

'And why did I have to hear about it from Rianne herself instead of hearing it from you first?' Lorna shot back

'Because I thought it was just a passing thing with her so I never actually thought much of it. I will admit that I know not thing one about the fragility of the young female mind in love. I knew she was infatuated with me, I just never knew the seriousness of it. Hell, she's had boyfriends during this infatuation, one of which was killed right in front of her by General MacAllister's goons. In a way I'm glad this is out in the open but it's too bad it wasn't out sooner because I have a strange feeling that due to circumstances she'll start shutting herself off to the world. I'm sorry I snapped on you and I think that for a few days I will stay at my trailer instead of here until I can get a clear head and calm down a bit. I don't want to lose you' Riggs said and walked toward the door.

'Hey Riggs.' Lorna called after him

'Yeah?' he asked

'I love you' Lorna told him as she walked up to him and kissed him, this time he didn't withdraw.

'I love you, too. I'll call you in a day or so.' he said with a tear in his eye.

3 days passed and, true to Riggs' past when he needed to think things over, Lorna still hadn't heard from him. When she finally went to his trailer on the 4th day, she found him to be not there so she did the only thing she could do, place a call to Rog and Trish to which they invited her over. She wasn't even there 2 minutes and she exploded on Rog

'I can't believe you told him I knew about Rianne!!!!' Lorna screamed 'I thought we agreed to keep it from Martin until everything was sorted out!!!!!'

'How the fuck was I to know you'd throw a curveball by pressuring him into getting a haircut?!!?!?!?' Rog screamed back 'While I think it's a good idea for Martin to get the haircut, the way you're pressuring him is wrong and I think it was absolutely wrong for us to keep you knowing about Rianne from him!!!!! He had to be told sometime and I thought it would make his decision a little easier!!!! Lorna, I know you love Martin and I know that he'd stop the world if stopping the world meant keeping you. Hell, he credits you for the most important aspect of living again. You only know him for 3 years and I know him for 8 years. Him and I are obviously of different colours but to me he's the younger brother I never had and crazy son of a bitch though he is he gets the job done. Did he tell you about the night he brought down Rudd's stilt house with his pickup truck?'

'Yes he did and I thought all along it was a likely story until the South African government sent the LAPD the bill for it. In fact this is where Martin first came on my radar screen.' Lorna said and asked 'Has he been to the station?'

'Yeah, he asked Murph if he could have a few days off which is when I heard about your little spat. The only thing he said to me is that you and him had a difference of opinion and he needed a few days to sort things out.' Rog said. A few minutes later the phone and Nick told Rog 'Dad, Captain Murphy on 2' which was his and Riggs' code for when Lorna was at the house looking for him and that Riggs wanted to talk with Rog on the private line in the Murtaugh house.

'Riggs, where the fuck are you son of a bitch!?!?!?!?' Rog whispered frantically into the phone 'Lorna is here and she's worried sick about you.'

'Oh fuck' Riggs sighed 'I'm cashing in on a favour from an old buddy of mine from Administrative Narcotics. He's lent me his cabin at Lake Arrowhead for a week. I can't face Lorna until I talk with Rianne.'

'Shit Riggs, I already told you that it would be a bad idea to do so. Rianne will not open up to you!!!!! Especially you!!!!!!' Rog hissed into the phone

'Look Rog, this thing Rianne has for me has got to end. I can't have her being angry with me or alienating me every time I show up to the house with Lorna. we have to somehow find here someone else' Riggs said flatly

'Riggs, talking to her will do neither you nor her any fucking good!!!' Rog was losing his cool by by moment 'Even if Rianne finds someone else, her anger and alienation toward you will only increase. Just come back to L.A. or there'll be high chance you will lose Lorna and I don't wanna see that happen. I'll make you a deal....."

'No deals Cochise!!!!!' Riggs snapped back 'Rianne and I have to have a sit-down or there will be no me and Lorna!!!!'

'The only thing is that the rest is up to Rianne whether she wants to sit down and talk with you' Rog pointed out

'Find a way to make her see things my way.' Riggs countered

'Alright Riggs it's your funeral.' Rog resigned 'I will make the arrangements.'

'Do me a favour, Rog?' Riggs requested

'Anything, partner' Rog said regaining some composure

'Tell Lorna that you talked to me, where I am and that I love her. Also tell her what's going on because I want her to be there to comfort me because I will feel like shit after the confrontation.' Riggs said and then hung up. Rog returned to the living room and Trish asked what the Captain wanted.

'Actually, that was Riggs on the phone.' Rog said which got Lorna a little excited

'Where is he? Is he alright? What's going on?' Lorna asked

Rog explained 'He's at Lake Arrowhead staying in a cabin his old Narco buddy let him have for the week. Lorna, he says that he loves you and that he wants you to be by his side when he confronts Rianne. I have to call her right now. _'I know she's gonna be hurt but Riggs is right, this has to be done. I'm sorry, baby.' _

Rog places the call to Rianne's house hoping that she's home and she picks up, both hopes fulfilled.

'Hello?' Rianne asked when she picked up.

'Hi, Rianne. it's dad' Rog said adding 'Listen, this isn't gonna be pleasant so I'll just get right to the point. Martin wants to sit down and talk with you about your emotions for him. This has to happen.I know you're gonna be hurt'

'Ok dad. I'll come over and I'll listen to what he has to say but I can't and won't promise that things will change right away or not at all.' Rianne said, then hung up. Rog just sat there stunned. _'I called it, it's not going to be pleasant. Riggs, I hope you know what you're getting yourself into'_

A few hours later the Murtaugh house resembled a town hall meeting. This was the moment of truth for Martin and for Rianne.

Riggs began 'Rianne, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that I know how you feel but I have to say here and now that I never took the time to understand how strong your feelings were for me and I wish that I could've been more sensitive and less apathetic about them. But there is also this, you're a little too young for me to even begin to understand what I've been through. Before I was partnered up with your dad, I've went through an emotional roller-coaster ride that didn't seem to want to end. I don't know if you dad ever told you that my first wife was killed. From then until I teamed up with you dad, I was living in beer bottles and shot glasses, smoking 2 packs of Marlboros a day and I wa suicidal for the longest time. The bullet I had you give your Dad on Christmas 1986 was the bullet I had intended to take my life with. The pain of losing my wife was just too great. Booze was only a temporary fix to make my pain go away. I'm not the Superman that you think I am. Your dad helped me the first part of the way and Lorna is helping me the rest of the way to get my life back. You're a sweet girl and I don't want to to ever change that but I love Lorna more than anything. She understands my pain and is prepared to help me whenever it recurs. Besides, if I didn't have Lorna, your father is against you dating and marrying a cop to which I can see his point. You're just too precious to be shattered by a 2 AM phone call with a police captain telling you that I was killed in the line. I wasn't sure my first wife could've handled it, I'm sure you wouldn't be able to handle it but Lorna would be understanding since she is a cop herself. Do yourself a favour and get a man that you can depend on and would be home with you every night.'

Trish spoke up 'During the LAPD/Symbionese Liberation Army shootout in '74 and the Rodney King Riots in '92 I kept glued to KTLA-News just to see if your father was safe, do you really want to go through that? This is one of the reasons neither he nor I want you marrying a cop!!!!'

Now it was Rianne's turn to speak up 'Martin, your caring and honesty are among the qualities that attracted me to you. I never knew about your first wife being killed and I never knew about what you went through after that. Another thing that sold me on you is that you saved my life when I was kidnapped by General MacAllister and his drug-running mercenaries. I got a thrill out of driving MacAllister's Stretch Limo trying to get away on your first attempt to save me. I've had boyfriends but they all came and went because my 'love' for you was too strong. I'm very happy that you're getting your life back together. Getting over you will be difficult but I think it can be done. Lorna, you have a great guy, you take good care of him or I'll kick your butt' everybody laughed and the clock struck midnight and Lorna spoke up

'Guess what, Riggs!!! It's now the 5th day, have you decided or will I have to call Mrs. Sigmund Fraud?'

Riggs was defeated 'Yes, just a little off the top' to which Lorna lovingly swatted his arm' He sat in the kitchen chair as Lorna got her clippers out of her handbag

As Lorna prepares to give Riggs the haircut, there is a knock at the door. It was Murph

'What brings you here, Captain?' Trish asked

'I was driving home and i saw that L.A. was intact so I decided to stop by to confirm that my 2 favourite walking headaches were staying out of trouble'

Lorna piped up 'Hey Murph, you're just in time to see one of your headaches get a makeover. Have a ringside seat'

'Very funny, Lorna.' Riggs said in mock indignation. Lorna began cutting Riggs' hair. Rog and Murph were loving this by the second and chiding Riggs.

'You know, Riggs. With your haircut, you just took the first step in becoming promotion material' Murph joked

'Yeah, but I always thought Lieutenant's bars would've looked even better with my hair long' Riggs joked back which kind of shut Murph up for the moment. The moment faded when Leo came barging through the door.

'Leo, don't you know how to knock?' Rog asked very annoyed 'What do you want, anyway?'

'I just wanted you to know that I bought your old friend's hamburger stand so now I'm in the hamburger business' Leo said very excited taking notice of Riggs' haircut and joked 'Hey Riggs, I bet this is the first time in years the back of your neck has seen the light of day.'

'OUT LEO!!!!!' Riggs screamed while Rog begins laughing about Riggs new look. Leo being Leo just stayed put

Trish puts a videotape in the machine and say 'Hey Roger, I knew you be chiding Martin so I thought this would be a good time as any to show this tape' It showed Roger whinging and swatting at Trish and Rianne who are trying to shave off his beard and everybody is laughing while Rog just sits mumbling 'I'm too old for this shit'

Leo piped up 'Never say you're too old, when you say that they fuck you..........'

'LEEEEOOOOO' everybody shouted in unison and this is the first time Leo notices Captain Murphy

'I have a bone to pick with you Mr. Getz!!!!!!' Murphy said 'Do you remember the attractive older blonde that was your first client at the hair salon? The one you did a botch job on?'

'Yeah, what about her?

'THAT WAS MY WIFE, YOU MORON!!!!!' and with that Leo does a 440 out the door with Murph not too far behind.

'Do you think Murph'll kill him?' Rog asked

'We could only hope, Cochise, we could only hope.' Riggs said as everyone began laughing at the street scene

The end.


End file.
